Posted on Leave a comment

Beautiful morning. A space for sanity

I open sun drenched eyes to a blue sky and a haze of early summer. My palms are moist from the grass beneath me. And my cheeks warm and pink from the shameless caress of the sun.
I find myself looking up into vastness and eternity, blue truth and blurred beauty. A still morning.
I smell the cries of the night on the grass under me and the glisten of trees around me. It had been so sad i presume. Yet with the morning, the sun runs all its desire to light the world and save it from the misery of the night.
A beautiful life they say, come get away. A creation in its own and a mystery to the core. A giant success and a painful let down all in one still effortless morning.
So i get up and look around. I look for the door that i had used to enter. This beautiful morning is a state, a situation that i looked for in every pair of eyes i gazed upon. I squeezed it out of every wonder and every smile. I posessed it when i held a loving hand and met a genuine friend.
I love it with all the goodness in me, yet i fear losing my passage to it. For when the chaos grows too inredibly loud i do lose it. I forget where that door to it stood. I imagine it and cry for it. I mourn it.
i search above and beneath me for it everytime. It is never easy to relocate. So one would understand how real i am in that place.
So why am i in such a hurry to leave now that im here?
I love the solitude of it and the simplicity. It speaks so clearly to me, i hear myself unsensored here. So i sit back down, i spread my arms apart and lay my head on the most appealing shade of green grass.
No confusion, no shame, no pride, no stupidity or ignorance.
I close my eyes and rest assured for when i am here, under the vision of clarity and this sweet surrender; the world can wait, it has to. For the sake of my sanity it stands still.

Posted on Leave a comment

On the shore of sanity

Maybe I should run away and never be found. Maybe I should leave everything I know right here and now. Liberate my thoughts and desires; unleash my insecurities and my perfections. I’m looking at my world differently and what made sense before is gibberish today. I can go the distances of possibilities; I can stretch my mind to the farthest horizons. Of course I can, here on this paper I can.

I am on a quest, I have not figured out my purpose yet but I know I’m on the right track. This paper here keeps me real, grounded and sane. It receives my thoughts and aspirations with no judgment.

Unlike people this paper is my haven, my shore; it absorbs my speed and intensity. So this is where I begin running. I start shedding my masks; one by one I hear them crash behind me. I feel my feet’s friction with the sand, and I can almost taste the salty moisture of the sea ahead. On this shore of my sanity I release my inhibitions. I look up to my cloudy sky and find long lost memories dripping on my skin. The speed is exhilarating and the memories are countless so I find myself indulging in that storm. Nevertheless, the farther I stretch my mind and the larger that shore extends the heavier my memories get. My heart suddenly feels weighed down, so I stop and I stand still to take my breath. A rush of wind infiltrates my senses and I am revived. I look back at my path and it’s a beautiful wreck. The sand I stepped on is displaced; it has taken the form of my movement. The air I breathed is scented, and the memories that had dripped on my skin have touched me and are evaporating back into my sky. I know they will visit again. 

I smile and with that one swift motion I am no longer on my shore. I am in a dark room with one lit lamp and the smell of forgotten cold coffee strikes me. I pick my emotions up dust off my pen and begin writing myself down. I’m an entity of helpless and sheer humanity. I am seeking peace with faith and genuine selflessness. I am young but my mind is ancient with all the philosophy it tackles and yearns for. My mind is insanity and life, with sprinkles of humor; while thoughts of self loathing and deep self adoration are in constant conflict. I am enthralled by the experiences of those around me and I am like a living sensor for life’s changes. I’m a realist with hopefulness. I am extremes and contradiction at best, but I never forget shades and degrees. I am in a state of constant observation and self-definition.