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Not All Suffering is Sexy

A Reminder in light of #WorldSuicidePreventionDay

Not everyone who appears to be “handling it”, truly is. Not everyone who “never cries” truly doesn’t. Not everything we think we know as fact, really is. Sometimes, it is important to remember that most of what we actually rely on is our own opinion of situations and people; nothing more.

Don’t be fooled and don’t take for granted that those who are living around you are doing well, because you think so. Don’t for one day think that someone is empty of trouble, that any life without exception is remotely possible without some sense of struggle. There is no shame in that, as there is no hurt in showing weakness and vulnerability.

We live in a society that values strength and rigidity, we live in an age of constructed beauty and magnified perfections and wins. Nobody is subpar, and if one feels so, then there is definitely something wrong with them. Every one is a winner, every one is exceptional and no body loses. THIS IS DESTRUCTIVE.

It’s Ok for us to recognize where we fall short, and where others cannot make a certain cut; we are not all skilled in the same ways or talented in the exact manners. Surely, one must find a way despite fault and learn and become better, but exceptionalism is not a standard. Outstanding beauty is not the norm. We must learn instead to value the quirks and jerks in our movement, in what makes us who we are. You might be the worst in something, and you must know that and let others know that you exist, but also let them know what you are actually good at, what you can do wonders in.

In a time where we are celebrating imperfections, it seems like there is a CERTAIN WAY to do THAT too. This is how you celebrate your stretch marks, and this is how you battle illness, this is how you grieve and this is how you take your therapy…. {The ways in which we must do things have become less transparent and more deceptive as to what really goes into feeling like crap}.

Struggle is made to look glamorous and positive, it is made to appear something it is not. Struggle is not championing over something, it is HARD, and people must not have to hide that painful part and only show the triumphant attitude.

So ask your brave friend what they do when they are feeling like cowards, ask your friend who is dealing with her trauma through therapy if it’s actually making a difference for her. We must remember that what happens behind closed doors, and what we think and say offline is a huge part of life too.

Nobody should have to take their own life because they cannot struggle the “right” way.

So in light of World Suicide Prevention Day, let’s take better care of each other, and let’s accept pain in the form in which it presents itself to us. Nobody suffers alone, except those who feel the need to hide it for whatever reason. Some of us are stronger and more resilient, some people are more flexible, that’s OK! But let’s not set the bar too high. Make struggle an approachable subject, instead of just focusing on the triumph that succeeds it.