Learning from Nature: Foliage
A leaf falls to the ground and I look at it. The more I look at the tree the more leaves fall off. I cannot help but think that maybe my stare is forcing this tree’s nakedness. Melancholy takes over. Then, I find myself mourning over a loss that only I alone perceive as such.
Later, I catch myself hurling my feelings, my own sympathies and tragedies onto the tree that does not suffer like me. In reality, I’ve hurled emotions at people near and far, finding suffering everywhere. Except, now I see that I am the mother of that suffering. I birthed it out of an unquiet mind and a spineless fear of the unknown.
How often do we beat ourselves up over not more than a thought? How often do we spare everyone else but ourselves from punishment? What is the programing behind it? What is that fear?
Signs of Life
We go about calling ourselves and our fears by new names. Since once something has a name to it it becomes slightly more familiar, and our weariness of it diminishes. We swallow pills and smoke cigarettes, we drink alcohols and green teas, making sure that we mix it up. Then, we go on diets and detoxes.
We try to clean ourselves of sorrow and shame. However, our toxins keep building and we see nothing else but the need to rise above it and abolish every uneasiness and dirty thing about us. We do it alone, and then we do it together, because having company helps us feel less alone, as though life will spare us some change and give us some benefit.The more of us the merrier and at least we get to have some fun and somebody to talk to.
Living gets serious and then it gets old, we get sick of it and it gets sick of us and we cringe at the thought of doing it all over again. So, we change and hope to fix ourselves and everything around us. We dwell on thoughts and we get too close to some truths that are convincing enough and others absolutely dubious.
Learning about truth from nature
The truth at the end is that we are just passing through; empty handed at first and empty handed at last. You can either find an immense freedom in that or a life sentence of questioning and resistance. What happens before we awaken? and what happens after we go for our eternal sleep? We learn from nature that both must not burden us. Humans already live life carrying burdens and labels in hopes of being of value or creating it, in a world so much bigger and stronger than us.
And so the tree stays still, and though I wish it could break fee of its roots and come crashing to the ground mourning its leaves and its lost colors, it does not move. It lives to withstand yet another winter and it hopes to blossom yet another spring as it stays still and lives, well rooted despite my emotions. Perhaps a lesson is to be learned here, yet again maybe my mind needs to stay pre-occupied.
I must find a name for this tree. It is a master of time or a sign of the times, it doesn’t move, but I do.
I make my steps across the new path, little do I realize that I also left a part of myself with the fallen leaves. This crash course of learning from nature reminds me there are storms to be weathered and suns to be bathed under; life awaits and I keep on.