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This is Your Green Light to Reinvent Yourself.

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You can always reinvent yourself and redefine who you are

I am here to tell you that you can constantly reinvent yourself. However, there are risks involved. Yet, if you accept the challenge and the risks then, there’s nothing to it really but your own willpower and how wild you can dream.

This is how I would define Reinventing myself: It is the act of intentionally choosing who I am now, despite the past, while accepting with accountability all that I was before, and am today.

So, let your imagination run loose and give yourself a minute, maybe even a day to think about all the things you want to do and experience. Think about people you wish to meet, places you want to see and things you want to become good at.

Unpopular opinion: Reinventing yourself is Good for you

Let me first lay out the obvious for all of us here. Take a deep breath in!

You will die. I will die. We will all DIE. Crazy ha?

The scary thing about reinventing ourselves is that we are on some level dying, and then coming back to life as something slightly different/ maybe completely different too.

So why is it so unpopular in society to reinvent yourself? People shy away from encouraging each other to change their situations. Why do we scare each other from even trying?

One simple reason is because it means that people have to socially, mentally and psychologically REMOVE YOU FROM THE BOX they have fitted you in, and then FIND A NEW BOX to put you in. It means they need to -possibly- treat you differently, because people treat each other based on the boxes they allocate for each other. Values like respect, kindness, empathy, encouragement, tolerance and sincerity are not inherent in all social relationships. The truth is that most of our relationships are bound by some weird social meter of relating based on pride, selfishness and expectations.

People relate to one another usually by similarity, so if you manage to reinvent yourself, then those who have related to you before in your unhappiness have no more excuses to their unhappiness. People will have to deal with all the feelings of shame/regret/blame/ rejection….etc. Now honestly no body wants to do that constantly. CHANGE ironically triggers humans. Why? because it means things don’t stay the same forever. Why is that scary? Because it leads us to the utter inevitability of death being constantly present.

People die, situations change, relationships change…accepting that frees us into a state of REAL LIVING.

The Challenge in Reinventing Yourself

Some people might mistake reinvention with escape. Those two are not the same thing. When you feel called to reinvent yourself, the process is difficult because of the challenges that come with it. The difficulties include keeping your integrity and promises and staying accountable to all that you say and do. One does not simply step out of everything, and expect to be reborn. It is a romanticized notion, that we can just “walk away or escape”. Walking away with intention and integrity requires facing our lives, our truths and traumas; it is an act of healing.

Only when we are acknowledging all that is within us, can we really begin to create ourselves again; healthier and happier.

HUMANS ARE TERRIFIED OF THEIR OWN IMPERMANENCE

So what do we do?

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Photo by Ann Nekr on Pexels.com

We try to create permanence in the little things we have and practice. We treat our identities as unshakeable, unchanging and fixed things. Slowly, we become the job we do, the food we eat and the people we surround ourselves with. Unchecked, our thoughts become fixed, so do our values.

Don’t get me wrong, building little forms of security is commendable. The beauty of being human is the ability to create and nourish people, projects and homes. So why not do it all? Just without digging our nails into anything we create or nourish. Reinventing ourselves comes with the belief that we are fluid beings, with changeable attributes; capable of a lot more than we limit ourselves to believe.

“Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation can that which is indestructible be found in us.”

From the book “When Things Fall Apart, Pema Chodron”
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What if I tell you that breakfast will change your life?

Have you ever tried banging your head against a wall trying to break it? The wall, not your head. Well, me neither, because I know one key fact about heads and walls: both are expensive to fix. Its important to note that there are smarter ways to break walls that involve using your head; or at least what’s inside of it.

[I had to write this statement after I found that people have actually filmed themselves while banging their heads into walls. Why are we even still alive as a species? This is a question for another post]… Moving on

Have you ever tried to break into someone’s bad habits and urged them to change? For their own sake. You know, those walls of repetitive destructive behaviors that sometimes look, among many others, like negative self talk, obsessive fixations over smoke, drink or love interests who wont bother responding to a text… It becomes frustrating for both sides; and with frustration come all sorts of thick-skulled behavior.

You cannot change someone, in as much as you can break a wall with your skull.

How about changing ourselves?

That is our best bet, working on changing our own minds, and our attitudes. Nothing feels better, and guess what? When you ask people to change they wont, when you lead by example they might. Just a random scroll through Instagram’s fitness bloggers, shows you the immense following that people documenting their fitness journeys accumulate over time. People want to see if said change works for you, before they get the courage to see if it works for them.

We like to think that we are different and that we are special, but truth be told, we are all too alike for it to even be interesting.

That is why, what makes you different is your attitude about things. You could be having eggs for breakfast, big effing deal, right? Except, call your eggs an omelette, place your orange juice in pretty crystal; pour your coffee into a cozy mug, and there you go- that is a memorable breakfast right there, you can even tell people about it, take pictures of it and brag how breakfast is the most important meal of the day, and watch other follow en suite. Go figure: The marvelous world of switching perspective, controlling for aesthetics and broadcast at our fingertips.

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All this leads to my favorite topic in the world, the power of influence and the secrets to inspiring people to change behavior. I will share one trick here to appreciate those who have read this far, and as a thank you; here it goes: Manipulate perception; and I mean that in the most noble of ways. Most great books tend to do that, religion does that, music does it, ideological and political leaders do that, and social media influencers are also great at doing it. It surely is more difficult than it sounds, but it is an intrinsic quality to producing inspiring- change outputs.

Manipulating Perception?

The way we perceive something allows us do develop a concept of it. If this concept coincides with what we already know; then we won’t be moved to change (Think millions of uninspiring -non-influencer status- users on social media- picking the good stuff, dropping the bad- superficial use of social media). If the concept is challenging to what we know we will either work on accepting it or rejecting it off the bat.

What you want is NOT to challenge people into inspiration; because you risk being dismissed immediately. Manipulating perception dictates the way that someone perceives something you are presenting. This means that you are involved in the creation of the concept in people’s minds from the get go, you don’t wait for someone to formulate a concept about your product, but you play a role in the thought process itself.

An oversimplification of the above is:

I want to inspire you to eat breakfast; I could:

1- Ask you to do it (beat my head against the wall)

2- Tell you that I experimented with breakfast every day, and tell you about how it impacted my mind and body (changing ourselves, leading by example)

3- I don’t even mention breakfast, I invite you to follow my Instagram page, the one where I post my pretty omelets and fancy cups of coffee, where I provide random facts about the benefits of avocado in the morning, and I casually slide in pictures of my fit body. I manipulate your perception, lead you to think that maybe, the bottom line is, if you start by eating breakfast; you too will be able to have a life that is as wonderful as you perceive my life to be.

 

 

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#2018 What’s your excuse this time?

Starting January first, your entire life is going to shift.

All that courage you have been missing will be mustered up, and BOOM as soon as you wake up on the first day of the new year #2018, you will have the necessary resources, the mindset and the guts to go on and make those life altering set of decisions.

This year is going to be different. The same way 2017 was different. Or so you would hope. Or so, we all would hope. Except like every year, I have such a hard time coming up with good-sounding resolutions. You know the ones that seem almost practiced, to sound extra self-indulgent and hopeful when you say out loud. [Like this year I am going to practice a more minimalist/vegan…any-ist lifestyle, that video I saw on Facebook was a wake up call.] Yeah, I don’t have those.

My resolutions tend to erupt from within after I have sobbed for three and a half days over an existential crisis. My resolve is tested on the daily, do I go to the gym or do I relax at home with my cat by my side and call it a day? Do I do this or that? …every single day. I cannot even imagine how difficult it would be to bottle up all of these little decisions to be made on a single (life changing) day. So be warned, most of those resolutions end up being one-timers. Almost every change in your life, requires practice. The idea is always much more exciting than the actual execution.

See the thing is, and brace yourself for this wonderful and mind boggling sentence: Today was the future last month. And tomorrow, today will be yesterday. So never wait till tomorrow to change your life. Inspiring use of words, NO?

The point of the above “state the obvious” sentence is that all you have is your choice today, NOW. Start with the silliest and most minute goals, and go from there. You have to teach your brain how to perceive achievement. You have to rewire your system to a new achievement oriented process, one where failure becomes part of the process and not the end.

So, if your new year’s resolution is joining the gym for example, try this:

1- Look for a gym that will fit well within your schedule, think proximity, and practicality in relation to your daily routine. Make it easy for yourself.

2- Start your membership before January first. Consider the 2 days prior to the New year as try-outs. Devise your plan, create and schedule your workout. Ask for help.

3- Set tiny goals when you wake up in the morning. When a habit is brand new, you will need to make the same choice a few times during the day, because your brain and your body do not want you to switch things up, they do not want you to gear off auto-pilot. Read this book if you haven’t: The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg

It is always wonderful to hear somebody, almost everybody saying that they want to improve something about themselves or their lives. It stops being so wonderful, when the resolution becomes a broken record every year. It becomes sad when you keep postponing, and pathetic when the excuses are shined and dusted anew every year. So just do one thing for now. Just one tiny little change in your life, and it will snowball beyond your imagination.

As for me, my resolutions for this year, well they will come, probably in a more dramatic post at 3 AM on a Tuesday, where I overuse words like truth, light, life, kindness, love and peace.