Somewhere along this way, amongst this green piece of land, in between autumn trees and falling lullabies, I caught a glimpse of a stranger’s eyes. We stared and then looked away, and he shied into a little pathway aside from mine. I heard his footsteps crushing little fallen leaves gently and I followed the sound. He whispered stay away as he moved ahead.
In that autumn theme the stranger stopped and I stopped. His eyes were young just like mine, but they dared not dive as deep.
In that dream of a day I wanted him to come with me, I could show him the world. I wanted him to forget the entity that pressured him and let go of the boundaries in his mind. His soul looked so sweet but his mind dared not doubt. Again unlike mine, my mind went to extents of doubt that would make any weak soul break apart. I understood he was afraid of that, he simply feared he might lose himself on my path.
We stood in a painting in the middle of a world of yellow and brown, our skin reflected the same colors and I yearned for his approval. That stranger knew I was on a difficult journey, yet he felt my sincerity. He stood in confusion and sadness shuffling his spirit. Without our noticing, the first image of doubt was drawn in his head; and uncertainty left him in indecision whether to join me or watch me go.
He was a stranger, and so was I, but then again weren’t we all. We remain strangers for lifetimes if we dared not dive into the worlds of each other. The autumn lullaby became a symphony as uncertainty danced and swayed around and between us. It was a beautiful dancer who was inexplicably moving our worlds along to its steps.
The painting we stood in as strangers was far from finished, and so destiny spoke to us through our painter’s brush. It drew us closer as autumn became more hopeful; my stranger became my confidante, he took uncertainty in his arms. He decided to dance with it, to sway it and love it as long as it holds the possibility of shifting partners one day. When that happens we would dance our way out of that painting and into a land of our own.
We stand tall, no matter what. In Our pride, our shame, our love and our bitterness we always stand tall. We should not give in to our weakness of spirit because we were created to live and then die. It is the living part that people cannot do right.
We have so much life in us, we are wonders by mere existence yet we break. It is when we break that we understand what it is to live rather than exist.
We have potential but what is potential? And potential for what. A perfectly happy person could be living a very average life but is considered to be underachieving because he has potential. That is the problem with the world and with people. We are told what type of life we should live in order to be achievers, when most of us die trying to achieve the wrong thing in life.
I have seen people breaking infront of my eyes, it is heart wrenching to watch, but i heard it will give me perspective to see thAt. Well, it has.
There is no life that can be lived to the fullest because there are always parts of it that had to go for it to continue. It is life and much of it will never be answered, most people will never know the meaning of it or its great purpose. Our job is to live it and take it as a blessing. The good in it probably has no purpose and the bad as well. Sometimes we dont deserve the good and many times we question the bad. Rest assured for you will rarely link ur life to any special mission. It is what you do and who you are while you live it that matters. As long as you stand tall and own up to your duty to live and the privaledge that is your life, you will be fine.
And so we stand tall until our backs break, we probably dont deserve it but thats the truth, be a human and love yourself. Give others what youd like to receive, and tell yourself the words that you need to hear. It is you and you only who lives and dies, it is nothing but an extra a lovely departure gift to have someone holding you while you say goodbye.
Dont let them bring you down he said,
Theres a power in you that no one can understand. I see your upset just dont back down!
And i believed it. What else is there? Its either good or bad, and we just hope for the best. I give what i can and i do what i should, the rest is up to the world. I want to dance to a song that makes me move out of my shell. I want to smile at someone the sneaky smile. I want to be bad and misbehave on my own terms.i want to love so hard that i shock you. I want to be good at different things and impress my self everytime!
I love the happiness i can feel, i love the joy and the peace of mind. I love the tiny pieces of Godly blessings in me. I want to build on that rather than negativity and defeat! I want to laugh at myself and my foolishness.
He is right whenever he tells me to snap out of my negativity surges of sudden and utter depression and defeat. He is so right to believe in me. I have so much and i can offer my humanity and passion to any situation, i just lose myself in that sometimes.
Today, im going to sleep content. I will love my self and i will listen to a beautiful song. I can do that and i will be truly genuinely happy. I love tonight God and i am thankful for that. Whatever power outthere that keeps me going is my God, my strength my soul and my truth.
I look at this screen and my head is weary from all the thoughts intertwined. I say to myself take it easy and every thing will fall in place. After too much depth one needs to dwell in simplicity or else any remaining sanity will be gone.
I think of God when i want to touch simplicity, creation is rather natural to a simple mind. I set aside any reservation i have and i feel the darkness of the sky above me. From this Beirut night, the stars are few but the crescent moon has a honey shine to it that flatters the senses. There is little sign of nature around me except for the pots of flowers placed on my balcony. And it is intelligence and practicality to work with what you have. So i simply shift my stare from the night sky to my city flowers.
What answers am i looking for? What truth am i seeking tonight? I find no help whatsoever. Then again a wind blows, one that has been blocked by so many buildings that it reaches you almost suffocated but persistent enough to shuffle around your hair. What softer answer can i seek?
Truth lay in darkness, and in the honey haze of the moon. It lay in God’s breath of life into those helpless flowers in the shade. Truth lay in the simplicity. It lay in my soul which needs no definition tonight because. Simply because..