Have you ever asked yourself this question?
Will the action (or inaction) I take right now describe who I have been over time, or who I want to be?
We begin with the understanding that there is nothing fundamentally wrong with us. You do not NEED to change anything unless you believe it will serve you in becoming a better version of yourself. A lot of political and social correctness goes in to the discussions we have about self development, and change. The reason behind this is not to hide away facts; but to soften our opinions about ourselves because those could be pretty harsh. At the end of the day you are free to be whomever you wish yourself to be; that is the beauty of our uniqueness. We each have a body and a self that we can move the way we wish simply by deciding to do.
So asking yourself “Who do I want to be?” helps you dig into your traits and habits, it helps you think back to a place where you felt you were “better” maybe even “worse”. The question just allows you some space before you take any action – generally referred to as mindfulness. You may find that you want yourself to have healthier habits, a more positive outlook about life; and simply pride in your decisions.
So who are you now? and what decisions have you been struggling to make?
They say that people change over time, but you must know that those who do so are the ones who have been changing their habits, thoughts and decisions at every corner. We do not become “ourselves” over night; who you are today is a huge complicated mix of the actions, in-actions and reactions you have made in your life. Ultimately the decisions you make are bound to shape you – both physically, emotionally, socially and spiritually.
DECISIONS WE MAKE – some examples:
So you are looking at a bag of chips, or at another mile’s run. You are staring into your crush’s eyes, or holding a dying loved one’s hand. You are looking yourself in the mirror wondering about that plastic surgery, or you are simply laying in bed telling yourself today’s story in summary. You are sitting in class or in a meeting and the split moment comes where you could either contribute with value or simply hear “no”. You are getting into a taxi after a draining day and you feel like a smile is the last thing you wish to give.
We are always faced with a decision, sometimes small seemingly insignificant ones, and other times life gets big and we are faced with bigger ones. So who are we in those moments? What do we think of before we make a decision? Is it all arbitrary movement across lives and people? Or is making one decision vs the other reflective of who you were, are this second and who you can become?
You see, saying No to that bag of chips wont make you lose the weight now, but it will make you feel more powerful for having a stronger will. Deciding to run the last mile might not prepare you for the marathon, but it changes how you feel about dedication. Laying in bed and choosing to tell yourself that you did good today, that you are blessed with the things you have will not change your life, but it will allow you to sleep better with no weight over your chest. Smiling when you are tired because your taxi driver smiled at you and said something nice, will not make you less tired but it will make you feel good about positively connecting with someone no matter how “unimportant” the moment is.
Our lives are made by the groups of decisions we take. If we view all decisions as unimportant, then we are letting everything and everyone control the course of our lives, if we view all decisions as major we will all drop dead due to stress induced heart attacks. Decisions are always going to be made, the trick is to stay connected to what we want, what we are willing to let go of, and what serves purposes bigger than our selves.