How about this for a fix to your never ending pursuit for happiness?
I cannot tell you enough how many TED Talks I’ve watched, how many questions Ive asked and how many disappointing responses I’d gotten about happiness. Let’s face it we all want it, but few of us can decide what it is that can realistically make them indefinitely happy, and why it is that they cannot get to that level of happiness. To say that happiness is an unattainable thing is inaccurate, but to say that we are obsessed with extreme unrelenting flamboyant versions of it is correct.
We want to be over the moon with joy always. We do not want the downers and the life situations that beat us up bloody. We want to fly high and show others that we can do it, and the altruists among us want to teach others how to be happy as well. Damn, that’s what I catch myself doing almost all the time. I am the QUEEN of unsolicited advice, and that my friends is not a glorious trait. EXCEPT, I have pushed the breaks. I refuse to tell you my dearest readers How to be happy, I also do not want to engage in that pursuit all be it not even my own. GUYS, the toxic and elusive thing in this entire industry of finding happiness is not happiness itself, but the FINDING it.
Happiness is people who love us, it is the bodies that carry us, the deeds we do and the efforts we make. Happiness is a value and not an item that we lose and then find, to lose again and spend our lives in pursuit of locking that item up.
Let me tell you why Happiness as a value is a comforting and a good thing:
A value is something we carry with us that does not necessarily belong only to us. Think of it like a rope always hanging by your side, not just for you but for everyone around you, it is not possible to mistake or lose, it just is there, and all you need to do is grab it. Think of it as roots beneath your feet. You could dry off if you forget about them, but all it takes is noticing them and then activating those roots to bring up what you need to become healthier. Values set us apart from every unaware being out there. Our values help us navigate meaning and intent, values determine our actions. Which is why, if happiness is a value and not a feeling, then we get to act based on that. We get to decide based on that. We choose to manifest our values by our actions; and so happiness becomes the source and not the end.
Your Sh*tty mood might be the reason that you cannot see the happiness existing in your life.
Let’s all look ahead and around, over and under and really see that the pursuit is only but a treadmill run. We are strong and we are broken at the same time. We are content and we are miserable at the same time. We can bring light but we can also suck the life out of a room. We are both the good and the bad. We cannot help it because we are human, and we are conscious of our thoughts and our desperations, we compare and we contrast our lives and the depths of pockets. We are so experienced in being ourselves whatever we might think that is, that we believe we are so different from each other. We might look different, and feel different, have unique lives and dispositions, dreams and eccentricities, but the funniest and most common trait we all share is that we cannot outgrow our humanity with all of its ugly bits and its wonderful parts.
So, if it is a kick in the mood we need, then we ought to exercise (not a joke) and let our human bodies take care of that. Our hormones will suddenly beat our consciousness with a stick and lo and behold, suddenly we feel lifted. Our better moods allow us to behave differently by reminding us of the happy value that exists anyway. It is then a lot easier to observe something comforting, something that we as humans can withstand. We are not lacking happiness, and looking for it; we are looking for better moods.