Without You

To everything and everyone there is an inside and there is an outside; the beauty however is in neither. The beauty is in the upside down and the inside out of everything and everyone.
Too many distractions, I breathe in seconds and breathe out days. I cannot let this happen tonight, well at least not right now. These seconds are mine, I see them, I feel them, I hear them; I’m stretching them and clutching them letter by letter.
Letter by letter, these seconds make no sense. Word by word, I’m alone in a big city, in a dark room; it’s already past midnight and I’m under black and pink covers trying to save my life one word at a time.
Trying to save my life words start seeping out of my perfume bottles, they trickle down my glass of water, they jump out of notebooks, and slide over mirrors onto the floor making their way up my bed. In a city that never sleeps, I lay wide awake cradled by hundreds of words.
Some words are smudged with hate, others glow with marvelous truth and beauty. Some words are half said, half written, while others gather in clusters of needless repetition. They are all just words after all, but I never let any go. I never allowed one word to approach me and leave, they all stayed because I needed them to; I made them mine.
I fall silent faced by too many words. Somehow there is too much to be said but no one to be said to. Somehow there is too much to give and no one to give to. Somehow being utterly alone dawned on me hours before dawn. Somehow, I need every word to return back to it’s origin and let me let go. Somehow I am more than alright facing just me. It’s all real, every second and every fear, but somehow I don’t need any saving tonight.

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